|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Recently, my husband and I made the transition to having an empty nest. We began raising children back in 1989 with the birth of our son. For the past 24 years, we've been co-laboring on the process of bringing up children who love, honour, and serve God. We also made sure that they were prepared to become productive adults who could take care of themselves. We felt strongly that God had called us to homeschool our children and so we did so - all the way through.
When my son was born, my mother-in-law gave me some very wise advice. She told me to remind myself every day that my child did not belong to me and that one day he would leave home. She pointed out that having a child actually become an independent adult meant that you had done your job as parents. It was to be celebrated, not mourned. I followed this advice faithfully when our son moved out on his own at age 21 in October of 2010 and then one month later when our daughter got married and (of course) moved out to live with our son-in-law.
I had this whole "learn 'em and launch 'em" thing down pat! Or so I thought. Fast-forward to this year. Spring, to be exact. My husband and I took an extended trip to Florida in anticipation of a move to that state in the summer of 2014. By then, our youngest child would be 20 years old and definitely ready to be out on her own just like her brother and sister. Of course, we were anxious to move to Florida sooner if possible, but more than willing to wait if need be.
Imagine our surprise when we returned home on March 25th to the news that a female friend had asked our daughter to share an apartment with her! Our daughter had just had three weeks on her own here at home and realized that she enjoyed adulthood and being self-sufficient A LOT. She was a little nervous (as many children are) about the idea of moving out on her own, but she "did the math" and realized it could be done. She also felt strongly that it was time. The final decision was made in early April and just one short month later, we helped her move into her new place (which is very cute, I might add).
The following morning was a Sunday. I found myself feeling very sentimental. Every thought was about how I could no longer go back and experience the past with my children. It was gone and I could not get it back. I am not speaking here about regretting anything about the past. Our parenting experience, while hard, was one of the best experiences we've ever had in our lives! No, I am talking about the thoughts like:
"I miss my son as a baby."
"I really miss waking up to my daughter playing worship music on her guitar."
"I miss the smiling face of my youngest greeting me every morning. "
"I wish they didn't grow up so fast."
I'm sure many of you know exactly what I mean. We lament and cry over our child's milestones because we know they will never come again. We grieve for the time that is past that we cannot go back to. We are sad at the growth of our children. And that's what we're supposed to do, right?
I thought so. And then GOD SPOKE. My husband was teaching a parenting study the following Monday and happened to be reading about the children of Israel complaining about their current circumstances and wanting to go back to Egypt. As I listened to him read, I heard God clearly say, "When you grieve over the passage of time and events in the lives of your children, you are being just like the children of Israel. You're not happy and content in the current place/season in life I've called you to. No, instead, you're lamenting about how great things were in the past and thus how bad things are now."
WOW! That was a lightning bolt from heaven for me! I quickly realized that when we spend our time lamenting the things that are past, we are missing out on what God has for our present and future.
Now, just to clarify, this does not mean that we can never think about the past. On the contrary, God has called us to remember the past and teach our children about it. But, what we're supposed to be doing is something like this:
"Remember when you were ten and got your leg stuck in between the pool and the deck? Remember how God intervened and helped Mom and your brother to move the heavy wooden deck to free you? Remember how gracious God was to protect you from any broken bones or serious injury?"
Or
"Remember how you used to organize and keep track of all your LEGOS by color? God sure gave you an amazing skill or organization from even a young age. And you continued to use that skill to serve him in many ways."
Or
"Remember that mission trip you took to Romania when you were only 15? Mom did not breathe the entire week, but her prayer life certainly got a lot stronger! It was pretty cool to see God's hand working in other nations, wasn't it?"
You can ask my children. This is not something I've done in the past. BUT, it is something I've determined to do in the future. No more mourning over where we've been and what is past. No more crying over the fact that time is passing and that children grow up. No more wishing I was not where God has me currently.
Instead, I will rejoice over each milestone knowing that God has called me to the here and now. I will see the passage of time as the chance to celebrate the events that God has brought us to and through. There may be tears, but I have purposed that they will be TEARS OF JOY and not tears of sadness.
How about you? Will you be happy and content in the here and now that God has placed you in or will you spend your time wishing you could go back to something that is past?
|
|
|
|
We finished our annual planning time on Wednesday and now it’s time to work the plan. Planning without execution is a futile waste of time.
I always end up with a big to-do list after our planning time and need to remind myself that most of these things are things we hope to accomplish over the next year, not this week.
Over the years this has been a tremendous help for homeschooling. Dan listens to all my concerns and suggestions and we make many decisions together, rather than me trying to muddle through on my own.
This year we did something that we’ve never done before. We asked our 21, 24, and 25 year olds to discuss together what they saw our family doing that was good and what they saw that wasn’t so good.
We were pleasantly surprised, and very pleased to find our annual planning times on their things we’ve done right list. We’ve been doing it since 1996 and they’ve seen the results of spending several days together seeking the Lord for His plans for us as a family and for us as individuals within that family.
I recently read a post from a pastor who was taking a sabbatical who said he did it to refocus.
I hadn’t thought about our planning times like that, but that truly is what we do. We look over our plans for the previous year and mark off what we accomplished. Some of the items that weren’t completed get moved forward to the new list for 2013 and some get discarded.
Often we find something on our list that was and is a great idea that we started and somehow didn’t finish or follow through. This is where we refocus. We ask ourselves, is this something the Lord still wants us to do. Do we want to put more effort into it this year?
We also track our progress on good ideas, like weekly date. We know we aren’t doing it perfectly, but it’s a good reminder to try for more times this year.
Finding Joy in the Journey,
Phyllis
I would love to have the opportunity to keep in touch with you. Please sign up to be notified of new entries and to receive my Free E-zine. (Your address will not be shared)
Please sign up and receive your free copy of Dan’s Doodles I http://phyllis-sather.com/?page_id=198
Phyllis Sather
Proclaiming God’s Faithfulness at:
http://www.Phyllis-Sather.com
Contact me Contact me
© 2013 Phyllis Sather
All rights reserved
|
|
|
If you have a toddler, you already know that he or she is a little bundle of endless energy! My twin boys turned two several months ago, and they have been non-stop action since they learned to walk. There is never a dull moment! It’s been a long time since I’ve had a toddler in the house and I had forgotten how quickly they grow and how much they learn during this toddler stage.
At this age toddlers are developing many motor skills. There are two main types of motor skills: gross motor skills and fine motor skills. Gross motor skills involve large muscles, and are strengthened by walking/running, climbing, and general play. Fine motor skills involve mostly the hands and fingers and hand to eye coordination. Your toddler will strengthen many of these abilities on his or her own, but there are many ways you can encourage and help them to develop their motor skills.
Eating and Grooming
The easiest way to encourage your toddler to develop motor skills is to have them help with everyday activities like feeding and grooming themselves. Toddlers are famously messy when eating, but this is the age when they should be using a spoon and fork to feed themselves, as messy as it may be. This will greatly help their fine motor skills and hand to eye coordination. Your toddler will also enjoy dressing and undressing, combing their own hair, and brushing their own teeth.
Drawing and Coloring
A toddler as young as 18 months old is capable of coloring. I didn’t know this until my boys brought home their first coloring page from Sunday School. I couldn’t believe it! Toddlers love to scribble. Walmart sells some great oversized coloring books that my boys love to color in. Sit and color with them and show them how to hold the crayon. My boys love to take the crayons out of my hands and tell me “no” when I try to color on the same page with them!
Puzzles and Shape Sorters
Puzzles and shape sorters are great for toddlers 18+ months old. Again, I was surprised at how young my boys were able to place pieces into a wooden puzzle. It took them a couple of months to figure out which pieces went where and to be able to turn the pieces just the right way to fit into the puzzle, but it kept them busy for 10-15 minutes at a time and it was amazing how much they remembered each time they sat down to do their puzzles. Shape sorters are also great. We’ve had several different ones, and the boys have responded better to some than others. We found a neat one at Baby Depot that is shaped like a toolbox on the outside and is a shape sorter on the inside. My boys have spent many hours figuring out which shapes go where. The toolbox makes a sound when the shape is placed in the correct hole.
Songs with Hand Motions
Toddlers love to sing and dance. Songs with hand motions are a great way for toddlers to learn fine motor skills. My boys started doing small hand motions at around 18 months old, but after about age 2 they were ready to do most of the hand motions to their favorite songs. Some of their favorites: “Itsy-Bitsy Spider”, “Patty Cake”, “If You’re Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands”. Sunday school favorites include: “Deep and Wide” and “This Little Light of Mine”.
Free Play and Exercise
Playing is a great way to develop both gross and fine motor skills. Running, jumping, hopping, and skipping are all skills your toddler will eventually master. I’ll never forget the first time one of my boys jumped. He squatted all the way down on the ground and threw himself up in the air with his hands all the way up, and jumped about a half an inch off the ground. It was the most hysterical thing I’d ever seen. When you catch your toddler doing these types of activities you can encourage them to keep doing them to develop these skills.
While your toddler may or may not be ready for a tricycle yet, this is a good age to introduce one to them, so they will know what’s expected and be ready to jump on and pedal away when they’re ready.
My boys are also working on mastering climbing jungle gyms at the park, and playing “catch”. Throwing and catching a large ball is great for developing your toddler’s hand to eye coordination. At first just have your toddler hold out their arms and throw the ball into their arms so it is easy for them to catch. They will soon get the idea!
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of five. For resources for the Christian family, including parenting, toddler and preschool activities, homeschooling, family traditions, and more, visit Christian-Parent.com.
|
|
It appears Delaware just passed a law that would essentially criminalize parents who spank their children. So I have to ask, "What is more harmful to children: a well-deserved swat on the behind from loving parents, or the "authorities" depriving those same children of the emotional and financial support of their loving mothers and fathers for as long as two years, simply because they cared enough to correct them?" Children are already protected from "legitimate abuse," so in my opinion... Click here to read more about this new Law.
|
|
|
|
Most parents don’t want their children to get bored… ever! Just think of the many hours and dollars parents spend keeping their children busy with sports, music, art classes, after-school activities – not to mention the toys, videos, computer games etc. that we give our children to keep boredom at bay. Homeschooling parents often see the field trips and classes offered by homeschool groups as necessities. Children hanging around the house complaining that “there’s nothing to do” is something most parents want to avoid. However, there is another way to look at this. May I challenge you to look at boredom as something positive? Let’s consider the following:
Boredom can force children to get creative. At first you may hear whining, complaining and pouting. But if boredom is allowed to run its course, eventually the child will become so desperate that he may make up a game with his imagination or she may find some scraps of fabric and start a doll quilt. Would that have happened if mom or dad would have jumped to eliminate the boredom at the first complaint?
Boredom can force children to pick up a book and read. Some kids read all the time anyway – but an active child may never pick up a book until there’s absolutely nothing else to do. Sometimes there should be absolutely nothing else to do!
Boredom helps children become more observant. A child rushed from one activity to the next becomes oblivious to her surroundings. A bored child is looking for something to do, and will pay more attention to her environment.
Boredom allows time for thinking – for getting to know oneself. This may be the best reason to allow your child to experience boredom. A child with nothing to do is forced to think about what he likes or dislikes, and what his interests are. He’ll have the chance to do and try things because he wants to, not because his mom signed him up for something, or because a friend was doing it. Boredom gives him time to think thoughts that teach him about himself.
So, what to do about boredom? I encourage you to see boredom in a little different light. Look at it as a friend that can help your children develop their creativity and give them precious time to think their own thoughts, read some good books and observe their world.
Charmaine Wistad has successfully homeschooled her own two children from pre-school through high school. Now she is turning her attention toward helping other homeschool moms. Through personal coaching, Charmaine helps homeschooling moms thrive… not just survive! Visit her website to try a complimentary no-obligation telephone coaching session.
|
|
Mom's Library!
Filled with parenting tips, activities for children, fun stories, crafts, recipes, and more.
Open every Wed.-Fri.
Be sure to Subscribe so you don't miss the next Library.
Last weeks most popular posts.
Emily, from Design and Nonsense, shares this cheap, simple way to make beautiful stationary.
Even if you don't have 3 kids, you have to read Cassie's hilarious comparisons at Two in Diapers.
Does anyone sell husband blinders? Meghan from First Comes Love would like to know!
She makes me LOL and shares some great tips and encouragement to help keep his eyes on you.
|
|
Great Resource for Moms!
Filled with parenting tips, activities for young children, devotionals, crafts, recipes, and more!
Just browse and click the pictures to find some great homeschooling and mom blogs.
Open every Wednesday-Friday.
New Links Every Week!
Come back again and again to see all of the new links.
Be sure to Subscribe so you don't miss the next Library.
|
|
|
|
The only thing more annoying than eating with a family that has rude children, is being the family with the rude kids. It happened to me only once, but it was traumatic enough for me to solemnly swear, "Never again!"
Humiliation is Served
By now beads of perspiration spotted my brow. The dinner conversation was taking its toll. "Audrey, please stop yelling at the table... Audrey, please sit up... For goodness sake, take smaller bites... You are talking with your mouth full again... Didn't I say stop yelling?... Hey, get out from under the table... Put that dessert back until you finish your meal...Did you just spit your food out on the table?... How about saying please first...Stop reaching, you're going to spill your... Great, you spilled your milk all over the table... It is not funny, Audrey!"
I could feel the judgmental glare from the other guests piercing me and I could hear their disgruntled thoughts. Half were thinking, "Geez, lay off. She is just a kid and you sound like a broken record," while the other half thought, "For crying out loud, why don't you spank that little monster." I imagined the two groups both thought, "What a bad parent and what a miserable dinner party!" The pressure was taking its toll. I just wanted dinner to be over so I could hide myself.
Finally, it all came to a head. My lovely daughter was yelling down the table for the umpteenth time. By now everyone, including me, was sick of hearing my voice. So, I decided to causally remind her to quiet down by tapping her leg under the table. I stretched out my foot and gave a light tap. She didn't even blink – to excited to feel the nudge. I stretched out again and kicked slightly harder. Nothing. I was determined to secretly get her attention, so I slid down in my seat giving myself enough reach to give her a good solid kick. Unfortunately, the kick was very solid, a little too solid. Audrey gasped, her eyes welded up with tears. I held my breath. Then the flood gates burst open and she started to wail, "Mommy kicked me! Why did Mommy kick me?" She was inconsolable and I was utterly humiliated, so I threw in the towel. I smiled politely and excused myself. On the way out, in a last ditch effort to save face, I made a classic parental excuse for my child's poor behavior. Looking very puzzled I claimed, "I don't understand. She never acts this way – she is probably just overly tired. She hasn't had a nap today." Then I tucked my tail and left.
Click Here to learn how to play the Manners Game
|
|
Several months ago my three-year-old daughter Audrey asked my husband, "Daddy, can you pick up our house?" "Nope, I sure can't," replied Dad. Audrey, who is used to her Father teasing her, looked up with disbelief. "Be serious!" she shouted.
Obviously, little Audrey was slightly over estimating her Dad's abilities, but I would have to say that she is closer to the mark than most. She sees her Father for what he is - a hero. In her eyes, there is no one wiser, stronger, or more brave than her Daddy. There is not a beast so terrifying, that her Father would hesitate for even a moment if she was in danger. She knows this, and that is why she calls for her Daddy when she has had a bad dream. Like most young children, she understands what most adults seem to have forgotten - Kids need their Dads!
For Father's Day, let's dispel a few of the popular "irrelevant dad myths."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Join us on
"The Hub"
today!
Click here
Where...Membership, Friendship & Encouragement are always FREE!
----
Download Club Membership requires a small annual fee.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email Site Founder
Lynda Ackert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Make Homeschooling Friends today...
Click on a member's name, then click
Add as a Friend
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Last Seen: 35 Minutes Ago Last Seen: 63 Minutes Ago Last Seen: 79 Minutes Ago Last Seen: 89 Minutes Ago Last Seen: 118 Minutes Ago
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
